Where business ends, and I begin

The other day a good friend that I’ve known for about 7 years contacted me. His approach to reconnecting with me was typical to many I get these days. He and some buddies have been tinkering with the idea of getting a band together and are looking for a logo design. As usual, I was immediately interested. That was my first reaction. Then, the internal battle began. I remembered then that I'm trying to wean off the "working for money thing." HHhhhh..... Unfortunately, I can't have my cake and eat it too. Alas, it’s true what they say, it does take money to make money and designing logos is my best method (for now) of raising capital to fund and support my LittleLDS brand. So, okay, I'll look into it. Of course, none of THAT is said out loud.

So my friend and I decided to meet for lunch last Monday. After eating lunch and chit chatting for a little while I reeled him in and reminded him that this was a lunch break and that our time was REALLY short (man, I really HATE working FOR someone). When he finally expounded on his idea, I just about pooped my pants! I was shocked that this idea was coming from THIS guy. Without getting too much into the specific details, it turns out that this friend of mine, who, I'll remind you, I've known for a very long time, and who is also an active member of the LDS Church, has decided to start a band and actually call it "Internet Porn - The Band". Before I go any further with this story, I have to say that at this point, I had already checked out mentally. He was obviously off his rocker (no pun intended to the music genre). However, for the sake of discovering where exactly my friend had gone so wrong, and to what extent he had actually thought this idea out - I just had to know - I decided to hear him out.

It turned out that his idea was to capitalize on the already HUGE porn industry. His logic was that he could put the word PORN into his band, thus making his band’s name come up more in Internet searches by buying a high prioritized position in search results made by the sickos that surf for it. He rationalized that he would be a “distraction for good” to the lost souls who were already searching for Internet smut. Translation; he’s placing himself in a gigantic sewer, full of crap and stink, in order to attract the cockroaches to his own talent by naming it “crap and stink”. Hmmm… He said that he doesn’t want to promote the porn industry but to use it. He said that he thinks his idea is funny and that his t-shirts will sell like hotcakes because it’s poking fun at the porn industry. Hmmm….

Now, if I were a pure capitalist, motivated solely by my instinct to make money, I would jump all over this guy’s offer. Here’s a guys who is offering to pay me to create a logo for him, pay me to help him create a website, and pay me to modify the logo each time he has a new marketing spin to put out there. In all reality, we’re probably talking about $1000 or more. Good money for a bottom-feeder like me. I mean, to a PURE capitalist, it shouldn’t matter what content he’s offering the masses as long as I’m being compensated, right? Sure, I know this idea will go nowhere. I know that I will have collected my money and left a long time by then. But what is that $1000 really worth? Perhaps, in this world, it could buy me $1000 worth of stuff, but in the end, it would end up COSTING me my dignity. Even if I were to never post the finished version on my own website, like I usually do, it would COST me my moral conscience. Any other business probably wouldn’t think twice about taking this kind of job. For most of them, profit it profit. It’s the bottom line that counts. After all, it’s not like he’s actually promoting porn. Or is he? Unfortunately I’m not just a businessman. I’m an LDS businessman. I guess it’s instances like this that are thrown at you every once in a while that are supposed to be a test of what you’re willing to do to make a buck in this world. You couldn’t pay me enough to fail that test.

Needless to say, I’m not taking the job. How to convey this to my friend without offending him is what I’m still unsure about. In an attempt to guilt his conscience back in gear, I’ve already asked him all the deep questions. “With a name like ‘Internet Porn – The band’, aren’t you the least bit concerned about how you’ll affect your own children?” “What does you’re wife think about the idea?” “How would you feel if some 17 year-old teenager heard your music and liked it and, in an effort to find out more about your band, instead, found a porn site?” None of these questions have fazed him. He has clearly already misplaced his moral compass. I hope it isn’t permanent.