The Boss Giveth & The Boss Taketh Away

Reason #178 to NOT work for someone else:

“The Boss Giveth & The Boss Taketh Away”

When I first started working for this company about 4 years ago, everything that was assigned to me to work with was standard issue and novel to me as a newly-hired employee. I was assigned to a cubical with partitions that were about 5.5 feet high, a built-in desk with 3 surfaces that made a “c” shape, and a fairly standard office chair. None of it felt like an up or downgrade, as it was all new to me. At first, I remember feeling a little bit alienated during the workday because I had so much privacy. It was almost as if I had been placed in a carpeted box with half of one wall missing for an entry way, and no lid. I quickly grew to really like that cubical, though, as well as the solitude it afforded me. The back of my bulky computer monitor butted up against the same partition in which I entered my workspace, so when I sat facing it, I was also generally facing the cubical opening and could see who was walking past my little matchbox room. This came in handy for those times when I was working on the occasional personal project or checking my email. Don’t judge, everyone does it even if they don’t admit it – I know, because I catch them at it constantly. We all just hyper-minimize the window and pretend that we we’ve been working faithfully all along. Heck, I’m even typing THIS at work right now.

After working in this environment for over a year, news began to spread that a move was on the horizon. Eventually the rumors became substantiated when a floor plan was circulated for the express purpose of allowing each of us to envision the new workspace and to voice our preferences about where we would be sitting in relation to everyone else. It turned out that the company was preparing for some remodeling of the building we were in, and needed us all to move out to allow them full access in order to modify the area we were occupying.

When we were shown diagrams and dimensions of the new cubicals, most of us cringed conspicuously and incredulously. Not only were they smaller than our current workspaces, but they were also less private – MUCH less. The partitions would be about 5 feet high, and made mostly of clear glass - in order to allow more sunlight to saturate the entire office. Partitions shared between cubicals however, would only be about 4 feet high, making each work area feel VERY exposed on all sides. The term “fishbowl” immediately came to mind.

Once we’d moved into the 14th floor the new office building (which, of course, was actually the 13th floor, that had been customarily renamed the “14th” floor for stupid superstitious people – as though renaming it something else would somehow made it NOT truly the 13th floor), we all found our pre-determined places and did our best to settle in. It was really hard to get used to for a long time. No one could so much as fart without everyone else knowing about it immediately, let alone have a private personal phone call. Suddenly everything was visible. What you ate for lunch, what you were working (or NOT working) on, what you were scratching, as well as everything else became everyone’s business. Not cool. The bosses, however, all still had their closed-door offices with totally regal privacy, of course… you know, because they’re better than we “where-the-rubber-meets-the-road” folks are.

Fast forward a few years to the present. By now we’ve all grown quite used to our work spaces. We’ve adapted. We’ve learned the typical flow of traffic and know who comes in and out when, who walks behind us, who lurks to check to see what we’re working on, etc. Monitors have been situated for maximum privacy. Large bundles of rolled up paper, file folders and other things have been strategically placed to create perfect blind spots for would-be snooping bosses who have nothing better to do than to check to see who is and isn’t on task at every paid second of that work clock. Every surface of the carpeted, and in some cases - wherever they could get away with it - glass partitions are all covered in pictures of loved ones and drawings & other keepsakes created by their kids. Friendships and callused tolerances have been formed by wall-sharing cube mates. The variable-weathered view from the “14th” floor which overlooks the world-famous Las Vegas Strip is has become as much a part of our office scenery as the printers & filing cabinets. And now, the rumor is we’re moving….BACK.

Now this SHOULD be good news. It should be good that we’re going back to what we had – because we LIKED what we had. Well, here’s the catch… we’re not going back to what we had. We’ll be in cubicals with even LESS privacy, if you can believe it. Different cube mates, different foot traffic, and no windows. Hhhh….Prison. Once again, The Boss has given me more reasons to NOT want to work for him any longer than I must.