Casual Friday

Reason #476 to not work for someone else;

Office “Equality” (Psshhhh….right!)

Like every Friday morning, I started out the workday in a good mood. Not only is it Friday, but “casual Friday.” Every Friday is casual Friday at my office. Like many offices, though, the word “casual” is used quite… well, casually. All it really means is that you’re allowed to wear jeans instead of slacks, a t-shirt instead of a dress shirt, and, if you’re feeling really lazy (which I always am on Friday mornings) a hat. So, this morning, I’m wearing one of my many Hard Rock Café hats, as usual.

When I got to the office, I noticed that everyone else had dawned their “Friday-best” as well. “Ace” had his t-shirt, jeans and hat on to match his funky shoes (the guys got more shoes than most women!), “Hyena” (don’t judge me…every office has its cackler…) was wearing her khaki capris, “Dung” was wearing his jeans…wait…go back. Hyena was wearing capris? Ugh… No, this wasn’t the first time, by any means, but today it got to me for some reason. Those nasty, pudgy, pale, white legs… for only showing about 6 inches length of skin per limb, they’re pretty gross. My mood soured a bit.

I must have been in a trance, because I didn’t even here my supervisor approach. Suddenly he was just standing next to me with my paycheck in hand. “And how’s Ty doin’ today?,” It fell out of his mouth almost like an involuntary reaction to seeing me. He says it that way verbatim every single day. I wonder if he even knows he's doing it? I always want to look around the immediate vicinity, and say back, “Oh, are you talking TO me? Why don’t you ask Ty directly and maybe Ty will tell you.”

“Fine, thanks, how are you?” This was my actual reply.

I’m usually pretty tame at work. I don’t talk a whole lot, though I am a bit of a jokester. I work well with others and I blend into the productivity model well. I always have good marks in my reviews. So, as I stared at Hyena’s capris, it surprised even me when out of my mouth came the words, “So, what exactly is the difference between capris and shorts?”

My supervisor, “Poptart” was a bit taken back. Of course I don’t call him Poptart to his face. Ace and I call him that because he always seems to pop up whenever we’re off-task or chit-chatting. He followed my gaze to Hyena, looked back at me, and replied. “Capris hang below the knees.”

“That’s it?” I snapped. “So if I were to wear shorts that hang below the knees, that would be fine?”

“No, shorts are not allowed.” He said.

I knew this, and I knew he knew I knew it. This seemed like a technicality, though, and a matter of work-place semantics. Seeing Hyena in capris had totally changed my mood because it reminded me of something that has bugged me ever since I started working here. Other co-workers had been breaking the company’s dress code long before this incident, but I’d always just ignored it before. Today, for some reason, I had to say something.

“Why is it that business casual is different for women than it is for men?” I said semi-sarcastically. When no reply came quickly I went on. “This office is full of women who where spaghetti strap tank-tops, capris, low-cut blouses, short shorts, open-toe shoes, and even outfit-matching hats on a regular basis! And that’s not even on casual Friday! Why can’t a man wear shorts or flip flops on casual Fridays?”

“Ugh…” sputtered Poptart.

“If you say it’s because I’m a man, you’d better be careful, because THAT is sexual discrimination.”

I pulled out the employee dress-code book and looked up the details of casual Friday and read them aloud. I tried to keep my voice light and jokey, but didn’t want to compromise the legitimacy of my point. No names were mentioned in my descriptions of the office's eye-sores, but many generalities were made. In the end, my supervisor jokingly threatened to put us all in uniforms. I told him that was a GREAT idea, as long as all of us had to do it.

After all, men and women are equals now, right? Isn't that what they've been fighting for all these years; the right to be treated equally in the workplace??

Psshhh… Yeah, right.